I. Faulty sentences

1，Our host entertained us with many interesting stories of adventure, he has been a member of an exploration team working in the Arctic.

翻譯：我們的主持人用許多有趣的冒險故事來娛樂我們，他是北極探險團隊的一員。
分析：缺少因果關系
修改：Our host entertained us with many interesting stories of adventure, because he has been a member of an exploration team working in the Arctic.

2，When I woke up I saw him asleep in bed, I had not heard him when he came back. Because I had been sleeping soundly.

翻譯：當我醒來時，我看到他躺在床上睡覺，當他回來時，我沒有聽到他的聲音。因為我一直睡得很香。
分析：because不可以單獨做句子，即不可以單獨成段放在句首開頭。
修改：When I woke up I saw him asleep in bed, I had not heard him when he came back,because I had been sleeping soundly.

3，Liu always did his work a little better than his fellow workers, that was why he got higher pay than others.

翻譯：劉的工作總是比同事好一點，所以他的工資比別人高。
分析：did his work與his fellow workers劉做的工作和他的同事做的工作進行比較、got higher pay和others劉得到的工資和其他同事的工資進行比較
修改：Liu always did his work a little better than his fellow workers did,and that was why he got higher pay than others got.

4，No student could answer that question, even Tom, who was usually quick in answering questions, was silent.

翻譯：沒有學生能回答這個問題，連通常回答問題很快的湯姆也沉默。
分析：even不能當連詞使用，可使用even if來代替。
修改：No student could answer that question. Even if Tom, who was usually quick in answering questions, was silent.

5，The old man hunched forward. His head tilted at any angle. His eyes half closed, looking very sleepy.

翻譯：老人彎著腰。他的頭歪著。他的眼睛半閉著。他看上去很困倦。
分析：tilting 與 looking 形態一致、可以合并成一句話。
修改：The old man hunched forward, with his head tilting at any angle, his eyes half closed,and he looking very sleepy.

6，Their work was well planned, everybody worked with great enthusiasm, thus, they over fulfilled their quota.

翻譯：他們的工作計劃得很好，每個人都很熱情，結果他們超出了配額。
分析：缺少連詞，使用and進行連接。
修改：Their work was well planned, and everybody worked with great enthusiasm, thus, they over fulfilled their quota.

7，Mark Twain, a well-known American writer, whose experience as a pilot on a steamboat was no doubt an important factor that helped him to become a famous writer.

翻譯：馬克·吐溫，一位美國著名作家，他在汽船上的飛行員的經驗無疑是幫助他成為著名作家的一個重要因素。
分析：whose—>American writer—>Mark Twain，不需要插入語。
修改：Mark Twain is a well-known American writer, whose experience as a pilot on a steamboat was no doubt an important factor that helped him to become a famous writer.

II. Incomplete or Choppy sentences

1，The houses were mere shanties, and rags were stuffed in the cracks and holes.

翻譯：這房子是個棚屋，裂縫和洞里塞滿了破布
分析：用破布塞滿了裂縫和洞
修改：The houses were mere shanties, with rags stuffed in the cracks and holes.

2，I read the novel on the train, which did not interest me at all.

翻譯：我在火車上讀了這本小說，但我一點也不感興趣。
分析：原先的非限制性定語從句中which指代的是逗號前面的train，但真正的主語是我，這里不需要使用非限制性定語從句。
修改：On the train I read the novel which did not interest me at all.

3，A well-dressed man admitted us to the house, and we later learned that he was thief.

翻譯：一個穿著講究的人讓我們進了房子，后來我們知道他是小偷。
分析：我們被一個穿著考究的人允許進入房子，后來才知道他是個小偷。
修改：We were admitted to the house by a well-dressed man,who was a thief as we learned later

4，On entering the room, no one was seen.

翻譯：一走進房間，沒有看見一個人
分析：缺少主語
修改：On entering the room, I saw no one.

5，Fred is energetic, capable, and a man you can rely on.

翻譯：弗雷德精力充沛，有能力，是一個你可以信賴的人。
分析：energetic、capable都是形容詞，and起到并列作用，后面也應該跟一個形容詞
修改：Fred is energetic, capable, and reliable.

6，The children promised to be careful and that they would return home early.

翻譯：孩子們答應要小心，而且要早點回家。
分析：promised to be 和 and之后的that 重復、promised 和 return 形態一致。
修改：The children promised to be careful and returned home early.

7，My watch is either fast or yours is slow.

翻譯：要么我的手表快，要么你的手表慢。
分析：either … or 應該放在句首，表示要么…要么…
修改：Either my watch is fast or yours is slow.

8，Glancing out of the window, a beautiful view attracted my attention.

翻譯：看著窗外，一幅美麗的景色吸引了我的注意。
分析：施動者是 我，應該是我被美麗的景色吸引了。
修改：Glancing out of the window,I was attracted by a beautiful view.

9，If interested in painting, a course can be taken at the evening school.

翻譯：如果對繪畫感興趣，可以在夜校上一門課程。
分析：缺少主語
修改：If interested in painting, you can take a course can be taken at the evening school.

10，One cannot think well, love well, have a good sleep, if one has not dined well.

翻譯：如果一個人吃得不好，他就不能好好思考，好好愛，睡個好覺。
分析：think well、love well，使用and起到并列作用，故后面的句子需改成sleep well
修改：One cannot think well, love well, and sleep well, if one has not dined well.

III. Concision（簡潔）

1，At the present time I am taking the course of World History and in addition a course in Geography too.

翻譯：目前，我正在學習世界歷史的課程，以及一門地理學的課程。
分析：累贅，句子冗余
修改：At the present I am taking the course of World History and a course in Geography.

2，The plane circled around the airport for about ten minutes or so and then disappeared and could no longer be seen.

翻譯：飛機在機場盤旋了大約10分鐘，然后消失了，再也不見了。
分析：about和or so 以及 then disappeared 和 could no longer be seen 表達意思相同，重復
修改：After circling the airport for about ten minutes, the plane disappeared.

3，In that country violent death has become a common place thing, a thing that occurs every day.

翻譯：在那個國家，暴力死亡已經成為一種常見的事情，一種每天都在發生的事情。
分析：a common place thing 和 a thing that 表達意思相同，重復
修改：In that country violent death has become a common place thing, which occurs every day.

4，One reason why people are well informed in this country is because of the fact that there are many newspapers which can easily be bought or subscribed to.

翻譯：這個國家的人們消息靈通的一個原因是，有許多報紙可以很容易地購買或訂閱。
分析：One reason 和 because of the fact that 表達意思相同，重復
修改：One reason why people are well informed in this country is there are many newspapers which can easily be bought or subscribed to.

5，His name is called James Williams.

翻譯：他的名字叫詹姆斯·威廉姆斯。
分析：①他叫詹姆斯·威廉姆斯 、②他被叫做詹姆斯·威廉姆斯
修改：
①His name is James Williams.
②His is called James Williams.

IV. Variety

1，

I got up a little later than usual on Sunday morning.I washed and had a quick breakfast.Then I started going to town to buy the dictionary recommended by the teacher.

翻譯：星期天早上我起床比平時晚一點。我洗了洗澡，吃了一頓快早餐。然后我開始去城里買老師推薦的字典。
分析：句子不連貫，用after和and連詞連接，
修改：I got up a little later than usual on Sunday morning,after washed and had a quick breakfast,and I started going to town to buy the dictionary recommended by the teacher.

At the school gate I saw Li Ping. I asked him if he was going to town too, and he said that he was. So we decided to go together.

翻譯：在學校門口，我看到了李平。問他是否也要去城里，他說他也要去了。所以我們決定一起去
分析：重復代詞過多
修改：At the school gate I saw Li Ping,who was going to town too, so we decided to go together.

All the buses were crowded. We had to wait for a long time at the bus stop before we could get on a bus.

翻譯：所有的公共汽車上都擠滿了人。我們不得不在汽車站等了很長時間才出發才能上車。
分析：因果關系，Since連接、句子可合并
修改：Since all the buses were crowded, we had to wait for a long time at the bus stop before we could get on a bus.

An hour later we got off the bus at a busy street.There were three bookstores there. We went to the first one and didn’t find the dictionary. We went to the second one and the shop assistant said that the dictionary was sold out. I finally bought the dictionary at third bookstore.

翻譯：一小時后，我們在一條繁忙的街道上下車。那里有三家書店。我們去了第一個，沒有找到字典。我們去看了第二本書，店員說字典已經賣光了。我終于在第三家書店買了一本字典。
分析：啰嗦，直接前兩個書店沒有直到第三家才買到即可、先后順序、地點狀語從句
修改：An hour later we got off the bus at a busy street,where there were three bookstores there. We went to the first two and didn't find the dictionary. Finally it was in the third that we bought it.

After that Li Ping and I went to other stores and bought various things. We returned to school just in time for lunch.

翻譯：之后，我和李平去了其他商店，買了各種各樣的東西。我們及時回到學校去吃午飯。
分析：after that可用then代替 言簡意賅、由于與前句主語一致，可合并省略
修改：Then, after going to other stores and bought various things,we returned to school just in time for lunch.

2，

Ludwig van Beethoven overcame many personal problems to achieve artistic greatness.He was a major composer of the 19th century.

翻譯：2.路德維希·范·貝多芬克服了許多個人問題，獲得了藝術上的偉大。是19世紀的主要作曲家。
分析：句子冗余可合并、使用插入語效果更加簡潔
修改：Ludwig van Beethoven, who was a major composer of the nineteenth century, overcoming many personal problems to achieved artistic greatness.

He was born in Bonn, Germany, in 1770 and first studied music with a court organist. His father was excessively strict and given to heavy drinking.His mother died when he was a young man. He was named guardian of his two younger brothers.

翻譯：他于1770年出生在德國波恩，第一次跟隨一名宮廷管風琴師學習音樂。他的父親過于嚴格，經常酗酒。他的母親在他年輕時就去世了。他被任命為他的兩個弟弟的監護人。
分析：句子冗余、因果關系、主語一致可合并
修改：He was born in Bonn, Germany, in 1770 and first studied music with a court organist.His father was excessively strict and given to heavy drinking and his mother died when he was a young man.Thus, he was named guradian of his two younger brothers.

He was appointed deputy court organist at a surprisingly early age in 1782. He also played the harpsichord and the viola.

翻譯：1782年，他在出人意料的早年就被任命為副法院管風琴手。他還演奏了羽管鍵琴和中提琴。
分析：可合并、語序調整
修改：He was appointed deputy court organist at a surprisingly early age in 1782, and he alse played the harpsichord and the viola.

He went to Vienna in 1792 to study music under Haydn. He remained unmarried.He was troubled by financial worries throughout his adult life.He was also continually plagued by ill health.

翻譯：1792年，他去維也納跟隨海頓學習音樂。他仍然未婚。他成年后的一生都被經濟問題所困擾。他的健康狀況也一直不好。
分析：not only…but also…、合并句子
修改：In 1792, Beethoven went to Vienna to study music under Haydn.Not only did he remained unmarried, but also was troubled by financial worries and continually plagued by ill health.

He became deaf in 1818 because of an ear infection. His writing of music continued, however, in spite of this handicap.

翻譯：1818年，他因耳朵感染而失聰。然而，盡管有這個障礙，他的音樂創作仍在繼續。
分析：時間提前、句子合并
修改：In 1818, he became deaf because of an ear infection,however,his writing of music continued.

Goethe said that Beethoven had an “untamed personality.” This may have been true, but his music shows great discipline and control.

翻譯：歌德說，貝多芬有一種“不被馴服的個性”。這可能是真的，但他的音樂表現出了偉大的紀律性和控制力。
分析：使用非限制性定語從句
修改：Goethe said. Beethoven had an “untamed personality”,which may have been true,but his music shows great discipline and control.